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quack, says the duck to the chicken

*like an odd fitting shoe, or like a giraffe among zebras.

That basically describes how I am feeling right now.

How do I say that I don't feel a sense of connection with anything at all without hurting feelings? And how to I show the reason why I feel this way without causing tempers to fly?

What should I do?


music

Finally transferred songs to my Nokia phone after procrastinating for months (super sad coz the phone is meant to be used as a music player)
Need to find the earphones. And I am set to go! yay. I'm missing my razr motorola phone a lot at the moment. It was a trusty song player and camera for me around 3 years ago. I wonder if I can still find a new set around. If I can, I'm thinking of sticking gemstones all over it to bling it up and to use. :). Flip phone flip phone. there's something satisfactory when u flip the top back down to end a call.Plus the phone is soo slim.

I think maybe I overdid my exercise a little last night. Back and shoulders hurt too (which they shouldnt)

Won't be in town next week due to work happenings. Not really that happy about it because I will be missing the delivery of my long awaited haul from overseas. :(. Praying for a miracle that it will arrive exceptionally early, like within 4 working days (totally impossible tho..).

Been rather stressed on a lot of stuff recently. I hope it all sorts out soon.

I think maybe I should stop exercising too late at night because I had trouble sleeping yesterday. Was tossing around for hours.

Possible overseas trip in December coming up (yay..). I just need to sort my schedule to go now.

Halloween is coming!!! yay..
I'll be heading over for some girl time with my sis this weekend (great loves) who is currently obsessed at getting burberry bags (she just bought 2 in a few days). That women is very keng.

shopping

I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop. I must not shop.

5 more minutes...come on!

*cannot give up!

argh. I'm in the middle of doing some thigh squats.. its 5 minutes left to my 30 mins goal. I must hang on!!

But argh..the strain on my thighs and butts. (but somehow typing here makes me forget about the pain for a little bit)
haha

To my surprise, I only started doing some leg exercise 3 nights ago. But I have lost a kg, and half an inch from my butt and waist. Or could it just be because my period is coming soon? hmm.

I'm really happy anyway. I just didn't expect to see results so soon.


Challenge

*as the days goes by, I feel restless, and suddenly, I'm alive again

As I was surfing through some sites today, I suddenly feel some stirrings to want to pursue something that I have stopped doing for some time.
Just not to jinx it, I'm not going to say what it is yet. (I'm supersticious like that..)

But this feeling is so great to me. Because at this point of my life, I'm reflecting back at my past achievements. And what I can do. And I find myself lacking compared to my own set goals.Because of that, and also with the things happening around me, I was starting to feel rather hopeless and useless a little, despite knowing that I am not so. That I can do things I set my mind to do. But I was uninspired, until now.

And perhaps,  I want a change of scenery too. And so, lets hope that this will be the start of a new chapter in my life where I start to excel in something new, in something that I was not so good at before, but will flourish in soon.





light exercise

*lets do it and do it again.. and do it and do it and do it

Last night, I did some light exercises despite it being slightly over 2 months after my surgery.

There were mixed reviews on me exercising so soon. Some docs were saying, go do what every you want after 6 weeks, some said after 2 weeks you can do anything. And there are some that said no heels or running or exercising or stairs over 3 months or so. (very frustrating.. so I went to buy a few pairs of heels while waiting to reward myself, which in fact made it even worse coz I'm seeng those bloody pairs of shoes everyday and not being able to do a thing about it)

Two weeks ago, I couldn't stand wearing dresses and shorts that doesn't press on my abdomen area anymore, and managed to find one of those super saver elastic waistband jeans to wear. Two days ago, I managed to find a black one that look like pants. At this stage, I can only thank the fashion setters that waistband pants and jeans are in season. Otherwise I can imagine myself in those ah ma/granny shorts and dresses for months to come.

With this surgery, I gained weight. I've received lots of comments from family members and friends on my weight gain. Heck, even my clothes are complaining that I am overstretching them at the seams.

And so, I started some light exercises yesterday. For 20 minutes. (a record for me since it has been years since I have done any exercising)
Did some leg lifting and swinging that I read on a magazine to tone my thighs.. But I'm not feeling any ache to my muscles today. Does this mean that I was not doing it right and I should have done it longer? Maybe I should extend it to 30 minutes tonight if I can find the energy, since nothing hurt after the 20 mins session.

I do hope that I keep this up, and tone myself back up!. To motivate myself, I bought 2 new dresses that would fit just right if I tone up myself a little. Yay...

I am back!

*jumps around punching the air like crazy, and does high kicks..


The above explains how I felt when I managed to find the password to this account again.

I am so so so so happy, because I had to suspend most of my blogs due to a stalker in my previous company. And since it's been months since I left that place, I thought it is enough time spent not being here. I miss this layout, I miss the elephant and berries. I miss being able to rant.

(okie i better stop here before I start sounding like someone who needs the internet 247 to live)

My bags

After a long time of not touching my packed containers of bags, I did a fast check on them because I needed a purse urgently after my current purse started showing signs that it needs a permanent rest.

I'm glad to say most of my bags are still in good condition despite being stored for such a long time.
I had to throw a bag away tho, because somehow the material surface was very sticky to touch, despite me wiping it a few times. It's such a waste, because it comes with another matching bag. :(

Anyways, today my hold on my shopping urges seems rather good. Despite wanting to buy a few dresses that I saw online, I held on to my pledge not to shop online anymore. (the earlier break in my defences where I bought a bandage dress last week does not count because I have been looking for a perfect bandage dress for months, so that dress is just what I am looking for. So how can I not buy it?)

I lost my nearly brand new long black cardigan with belt that I only used twice yesterday. :(
Really really sad because it isn't something that I would normally splurge on, but I did. And now, its gone. The frustrating thing is that I still remember holding it in my hands a few hours before I lost it. pft.

To end it, I'm amazed at the number of bags I have, and I am amazed that I have forgotten most of the bags that I own. As much as I want to do a spring clean and give away the bags that I won't use that much anymore, like what I did to my shoes, somehow I feel that getting over this feeling of selfishness or posessiveness over my bags will be harder.

Christmas is coming

You are my baby love, always. forever.


Christmas is coming falalalalalalalaa!!.. so please click on this link here http://www.tongcom.co.kr/dingani_13.htm

enjoy the cute animation and the cute song.. hehehe. it has been on my link list for soo long.

post

btw,, just want to say that im sorry that my old posts pop out like mushrooms sometimes..
i usually write stuff during work time, but since im not allowed to surf for non business related things at work, i take it home.. and when i am free, i upload the posts up here. i still have stuff from my final week in Nov, and first week of Dec to post up soon.